Stubborn

Was I a stubborn child? 

I'm not really sure. I have wondered this many times as I have moved through this crazy existence, but never have I really realized where I stood on the issue.

When one is called stubborn it is frequently used in a derogatory manner. I have decided that is not what it is meant for at all. Here begins my quest to explain how stubbornness can benefit the wise. Or just benefit me. 

Cut to Summer 2015. 

I was working at Walmart in Cedar Hills. This was a temporary job, as I would be going back to school in the fall, so I was coping with where I was just fine. One fateful day/couple weeks, my supervisor realized I was the only person under her who had had no disciplinary actions taken against them. This could be for some obvious reason. For example: I am attentive to detail, I work hard, I knew what I was doing, or at least wasn't doing anything wrong. Instead of sticking with this line of exceedingly logical thinking, my supervisor proceeded to search for reasons to "coach" me.

Excuse me? No. 

This began to wear on me very badly, as I was doing the best that I could every day to go above and beyond the call of duty and I was still being kicked down for doing so. This went on for about two weeks. I was miserable. Everyone I spent time with could tell. My parents were very concerned, and even tried giving me suggestions, but "this was a temporary job and I could stick it out." (Hah)

I had been running myself ragged for a little while when suddenly, my supervisor came to me during my shift and yelled at me for something I had not done. This was the last straw. For me and my body. About half-way through said shift I became very ill and almost threw up multiple times. This is when I was found in a corner of the back room by a very concerned Manager. This woman looked at my pale and sweating self and sent my butt home to recuperate. 

Wonder of Wonders, Miracle of Miracles!

As soon as I was out of the building and safely on the road home, I began to feel better. This is where the correct stubborn kicked in! 

As soon as I was home, and had explained my sudden appearance at the house to my mother, I got on my laptop (with ginger ale and GF toast as my sword and shield) and proceeded to apply for and call about six jobs. SIX! I was done with that job. 

I must have made a decently respectable effort on the applications too, because I got calls for 5 of them. I took an interview the next afternoon, and I was out of Wally-World by the end of the week.

My father looked at me after all of this and said, 

"When you get irritated enough you kick it into high gear and you get stubborn. When that happens, nothing at all can stop you."

Nothing at all can stop you. That is one of the best connotations of being stubborn, I have ever heard! 

This kind of thing has happened multiple times in my life. I was always afraid of being called stubborn, but looking back, it has mostly been for good causes. 

My interest about this was piqued tonight as I sat, mildly moping, in my room. I was upset about recent events and was unsure of how to go about feeling better. I have been sad for about a month now and I wanted that sadness to end without malice and without anger. I had become irritable about my own attitude. So, I chose stubborn! It has been a friend to me in the past.

Yet again, I was being stubborn and feeling sorry for myself. "Oh, I never go out. I don't see people as much as I'd like to. I don't meet new people. My plans have fallen through. I'm emotionally distraught." Today, I decided finally to stop that. I got so irritated with my own pathetic attitude that I stepped up and said, "No. You are a strong, independent woman. You are free, white and over twenty-one. You don't need no man!"
(please imagine this said by a sassy Octavia Spencer from "The Help")

Thus, here I am with a newly organized room, a happier outlook on all my responsibilities, a nice bowl of Cheerios, a plan to meet new people, and A SMILE ON MY FACE!! 

NOTHING AT ALL CAN STOP ME! 

I guess after all is said and done, I am me, and I am OK. 

I want all of you to know that no matter how battering the storm may get-no matter the trial-nothing at all can stop you. It doesn't matter if you are a stubborn person at all. You are a person, and you deserve to have all the happiness you choose. This is what matters.
So never let ANYTHING stop you! 

Oh Happy Day!